Missing the Mark

I'm hopeful that this will be short & maybe even sweet, but given that my stomach is still churning away at 2AM I have minimal expectations for that.  I read several responses today to a friend's post regarding Elizabeth Smart's call for sexual education in the church to emphasize the love of God & our eternal value regardless of the irrevocable nature of possible choices.  Now, most of my classmates, close friends, & family know that within respectful boundaries, sex is always something I'm willing to discuss.  Although I'm not a parent yet, I already pray, sometimes hourly, that I'll be such a fantastic, honest, open parent I'll somehow spare my children the suffering associated with going against God's laws.

But guess what?  Ultimately it's not about me.  My children's choices aren't about me.  My choices are not about my parents.  Everyone does their best & eventually we all become who God intends us to be, if that is our desire.  He will never force us.  The person whose criticisms so violently wounded me is a total stranger.  But tell me if you can see why what he said should offend EVERYONE who believes in the atoning power of Jesus Christ.

"Sure this is true for victims of rape or abuse, but a young unmarried person who is willingly choosing to be permiscuous DOES give away some of their self worth and it does leave a stain. They need to know that there are serious spiritual, social and physical consequences when you behave in that way. You will be judged and looked at in a negative way and a worthy young man or woman who has kept themselves pure will not want to marry you."

I make no apologies for the language to follow (trust me, it's less than I believe is warranted).  Who the HELL does this man think he is?  Who the hell is some hypothetical (or real) future spouse to say to anyone "oh you made mistakes that I didn't?  You're not worthy of me".  GOD decides my worth, not your disgusting, ignorant, short-sighted, mere mortal checklist.  Are there many potential partners I refuse because they're not ready to make the changes I have?  Absolutely.  They're not ready to make the commitment I am, & that's sad for them.  But to say that anyone can EVER lose their self-worth or be stained beyond repair?  You do not understand God.  You do not understand His love.  You do not understand the matchless, infinite power of the sacrifice His Son has made, not just for you who apparently haven't sinned all that badly (by the way, God can't look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, even your little bitty ones), but for EVERYONE.

I don't have children yet.  Truthfully I may never have children.  But as much as my frail little human self can, I show every person I touch that they are NEVER stained beyond repair.  They can NEVER lose the worth that is inherent to a child of the God of heaven & earth.  You want your children to learn the consequences of sin?  I promise you.  If you keep them in a bubble until they are 30, convince them that even hand holding before marriage condemns you to hell, prevent them from committing any of the sins you seem to find so grievous.....  You.  Will.  Still.  Fail.  Your children will learn the consequences of sin, because that is why their Heavenly Father sent them here.  To make mistakes & learn & become.  You want to teach them a lesson?  Teach them that their Heavenly Father loves them no matter what.  Ideally, teach them that YOU love them no matter what.  Because truly, as someone who lost my way in more ways than you can imagine, THAT is what will keep them where you want them to be.  Not your selfish threats.  Because the greatest of all these is love.