Keep Fighting

So if you know me well or if you've ever popped over here before, you know that if anyone uses the word "addiction" in my presence, my metaphoric antennae go up.  So during a discussion today someone stated something very well-meaning but wildly inaccurate, probably due to lack of personal experience.  The person said that if you're going to church, you won't have inappropriate thoughts & desires.  That simplifies it a bit, but the opinions were also excessively simple.  I've been sober one year, eight months, & almost nine days.  I attend 3+ hours of church a week & spend 1-2 hours most weeks in the temple.  While I know everything I did while I was actively addicted has been forgiven by my Heavenly Father, no, even being in the temple is not a guaranteed cure for my addictive tendencies.  Do I give in to them?  No.  Do I allow those thoughts to remain?  No.  At this point they are not even considerations.  But they are never gone.

Regular church & temple attendance are a major factor in my ability to stay sober.  Interacting with quality people who, even if they don't know my challenges, have the same general goals (usually) makes it easier for me to stay on track.  Prayer, scripture study, journal writing, significant family time, all of those things help me continue to make the right decisions.  But the truth I run into every time I look back on my path to recovery is this: I took the opportunity to get/stay sober when I was presented with it.

There were many years when I didn't miss a moment of church.  There were a fair amount of years where I missed almost every moment of church.  Did I hit my lowest point during those latter years?  Yes.  Do I think that was a coincidence?  Of course not.  I am grateful that I hit rock bottom because eventually it enabled me to push off & motivate myself to get to this point.  That being said, stronger efforts to stay active in the church might have pushed off what I believe was inevitable.  But that activity did not cure me.

So please, if you're fighting something that feels insurmountable, never Ever EVER give up!!!  Every little bit helps, and that absolutely, emphatically includes the most positive influences on this earth.  Keep going to church.  If you're not, start.  Keep asking your Heavenly Father to give you the strength to keep fighting & the faith to be patient until you're ready to conquer.  Keep (or start) seeking your bishop's counsel.  Keep making friends with people who can help you remember who you are & where you want to go.  But more than anything, NEVER believe that if all of those things don't make it all go away, it means you're not doing it right.  God has perfect timing.  Hellish though it may be, please, Please, PLEASE trust it.  You will get there.  Just keep fighting.