My Place In THIS World?

Here's the thing.  I don't often write about controversial subjects, because most of the time I either have no opinion, or I have a very set opinion & no interest in hearing why I'm wrong.  Maybe that's close-minded of me.  I know many people who would say so.  But the thing is, I'm pretty freaking smart.  Yeah yeah not always so humble I know, but that doesn't make it not true.  I could show you test scores or whatever but all of that is irrelevant.  I don't form my opinions randomly or without information.  I like to think I have a decent balance of logic & heart, but ultimately everyone probably thinks they're right.

I read something today that disturbed me in a massive way.  In my world, ultimately everything revolves around faith.  That's the point of all of it right?  Faith that there is something better.  Faith that we can have and be more than we have and are in this moment in time.  The thing is, I know who I am.  I know what I am meant to be, & what I will be if I make the right decisions.  I have faith in that, because I know who has made me those promises.  I know He has an infinitely better plan than I could ever have for myself.

Whenever anyone asks what makes The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints different form all the others out there, my answer is revelation.  "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God."  We believe that God currently speaks to our leaders.  We believe that He has a hand in the inner workings of the way that the church is organized.  "We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof."  Yes, I recognize that this requires believing in the authority of the leadership of our church.  Suspend your disbelief (if you have it) & assume that they do.

What I read was partially beautiful, & partially...offensive to my soul.  As a woman, as a Latter-Day Saint, as a martial artist, as someone who fills many roles that are considered to fit a stereotype somehow, I am often reminded of who or what I should be.  I am told I am too strong, too soft, too subservient (if you know me you know the ridiculous nature of that idea), too many things for any one person to possibly uphold.  Ultimately, who & what I am is the business of two people: me, & my Heavenly Father.  Trust me when I say that one of us knows much better than the other the answer to all of those questions, & the other is very well-aware of that.

I've read some things lately about petitions & sit-ins & such to get the general authorities to change certain things.  One was a policy change concerning Americans being able to have civil ceremonies & sealings in the same day, as is possible & in fact necessary in most other countries due to the laws of those nations.  The thing is, while I didn't agree with the motion, I did appreciate the method.  The author essentially said "We're asking that people write letters, requesting that the brethren pray if this policy should be changed".  I tend to think of God as omniscient so I imagine if he wants something changed, he'll do it.  But hey, as he said, "no harm in asking".  I kinda think the leaders of millions of people have better things to do but we all know they're praying anyway so whatever there I guess.  Ultimately I kind of figure there's a reason for everything that the Lord does or allows to be done but I'm mortal so really, I can't be sure what he directly controls & what he allows to happen because he sees the bigger picture & knows that most of it's all mortal nonsense & doesn't really matter anyway.

Now for the subject at hand: there are apparently women who believe that they are somehow entitled to wield the priesthood of God.  Here's my big fat GINORMOUS problem with that: NO ONE is entitled to wield the power of God.  Are you kidding me?!?!?!  Who do you think you are?  Honestly for me, I've always been grateful to be a woman & not have that kind of enormous responsibility, though the whole bearing children thing is daunting as well.  But I guess there will always be people who fancy themselves leaders or some such arrogant mortal theory. 

I have always believed that equal does not mean the same, & all revelation I have read thusfar indicates the same.  Truthfully, I can't say women will never have the priesthood.  I don't know that.  I kind of doubt it but again, "we believe that he will yet reveal many great and important things".  It would be moronic of me to presume to know what those things might be.  So in my heart, I don't know that women aren't meant to hold the priesthood.  I simply believe that for something so sacred, the Lord will make the decision.  It is not something that will be decided by whether or not women attempt to attend a meeting intended for men.  Women have their own meetings.  Apparently to some that's offensive.  Me, I like girls' nights.  I like men & women for different things.  I like that we're different.  & I believe that God intended us to be that way, & he will always guide us, on his time, not ours.

I'm not trying to find my place in this world, because I know this is not where I belong.  I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I love Him [...] I will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.  Whatever I need to do that, He will provide me.  Whatever he doesn't provide, I guess I must not need to get there.  & that's all I need to know.